The Afterlife
Communication from earthlings Agree: 8 
Disagree: 0
118
The biggest influence the past loved ones on earth have upon spirits who are crossed over occurs when those that remain on earth hold on with such grief and to such a degree that it does not allow the person on earth to move forward and it keeps the spirit on the other side too earthbound to move forward in their life as well--into their new spirit life.
Question 936. What effect does uncontrollable grief of surviving relatives have on newly departed spirits? Answer: Spirits are touched by the sustained memory and deep regret of their loved ones. However, persistent and excessive grief causes them considerable distress. They see in it a lack of faith in the future and confidence in God. The survivors' grief could even prevent the departed spirit from a peaceful adaptation to its new reality.
— The Spirits Book-Modern English Edition, Allan Kardec
pg. 348, 2003
The spirit world disapproves of mourning in every shape and form. Genuine, heartfelt sorrow is a human emotion that none of us is secure from, but so much mourning is spurious. Here we can see just what is taking place in the minds of the mourners. Mourning as a rule is utterly selfish, because people are not sorry for the soul who has passed on except in so far as it is thought that he is now infinitely worse off 'dead'. The great majority of people are sorry for themselves at the physical separation, not happy and glad that their friend has gone to a greater, grander, more beautiful life. Of course, I am now speaking of those who are destined for the realms of light. With those whose destination here is in the realms of darkness we are not treating at the moment. Even where the sorrow is perfectly genuine and inspired by true affection, every effort should be made to curb it. The soul newly arrived in spirit lands will feel the determined drag of the thoughts of those who are left behind, unless those thoughts are constructive thoughts for the present and future well-being of the friend who has gone. Thoughts of the wrong kind will draw the soul back like a magnet and prevent it from making a steady and natural transition into its proper sphere. It is no exaggeration to say that it would be immeasurably better, things being what they are upon earth, if mourners on earth were to pass into a complete state of physical insensibility for some days after the passing of a friend into the spirit world. There would then be no danger of the thoughts of others circumscribing the actions of the newly-departed soul.
— Here and Hereafter, Anthony Borgia
pg. Chapt1, 1968
The spirit body may take some days of your time before it becomes completely separated from the earthly body, and it may be hindered very much by the combined thoughts of the sorrowers who are participants in the dismal rites. Instead of departing from the earthly sphere, the discarnate one will be attracted to the scene of obsequial activities, and more than likely will be saddened himself by what he is witnessing and by the sorrow of those he has left behind. He will feel a heavy weight within him of the separation that has come about, and perhaps being ignorant of what has befallen him, he will be doubly distressed, and even trebly distressed by the fact that he speaks to his friends but they cannot hear him. And how great a difference a little knowledge would make!
— Here and Hereafter, Anthony Borgia
pg. Chapt1, 1968
Let the prayers be addressed to the Father of us all, that help may be sent to the soul who has passed on, and that the Father will also aid those who are offering their ministrations to the newly-arrived one. We need divine assistance in our work just as do you upon earth, and often are our powers taxed to their utmost when we come to aid those who are making their advent into spirit lands as permanent residents. Long recitations from the psalmists, however beautiful may be their theme, are perfectly useless to us and to the newcomer we are helping. They produce no effect whatever upon the endeavors we are making. A short prayer, efficiently directed, asking for help, will bring an instantaneous answer. That response will be invisible to you on earth, but to us here it means a downpouring of light and power that we most need for the case in hand. Pray that the soul may soon receive the light of understanding of the new situation in which he finds himself, if he is entirely ignorant of spirit truths, and that he may be happy and contented in the life upon which he has just embarked.
— Here and Hereafter, Anthony Borgia
pg. Chapt1, 1968
From the fact that a mourner is spending time at the grave, indulging in melancholy thoughts of the soul who has passed on, and contemplating that a few feet of earth are now separating them, and so on, you will infer, in such a case, that the mourner has no acquaintance with spirit truths, or else he would never think that the departed one really lies there himself. We in the spirit world know that a soul who gradually yields to such melancholy importunities of thought as are being sent out from the earth, knows very little of spirit truths. And being in such case, when a soul returns to the earth and stands in the presence of the mourner and tries to talk to and comfort the one who is left behind, he becomes acutely disturbed in mind when he discovers that his voice cannot be heard on the earth. His words are falling unheeded upon the air. The thoughts of sorrow and despair pass and re-pass in a constant stream until at last both persons become exhausted with the emotional strain. The mourner will eventually leave the graveside, the newly-arrived spirit will return whence he came, and both are filled with inconsolable sadness. The whole performance has done no good whatever on the contrary, it has had a very bad effect upon both parties. And what is still worse, the episode will be repeated and repeated until we on our side can instil some reason into our distracted friend, and show him the futility of the proceedings. Better counsels will eventually prevail, and the visitations to the resting place of the physical body will cease. In the meantime, the soul has passed through a period of untold misery that could have been avoided if only those who were left behind upon earth had possessed themselves of the necessary knowledge of spirit truths.
— Here and Hereafter, Anthony Borgia
pg. Chapt1, 1968
From the moment of passing until the physical body is finally committed to the earth, and frequently for some time afterwards, the thoughts of the mourners are concentrated in sorrow upon the departed one. The various performances that comprise the 'last rites' add force to this sorrow, enhance it, and give it greater directive power. Where this feeling of sorrow is genuine it will unfailingly reach the recently departed soul.
— Here and Hereafter, Anthony Borgia
pg. Chapt1, 1968
119
Expressing love and forgiveness from a human on earth can often help a spirit who has committed suicide be released to move into a full spirit being.
120
A human can make contact with the essence of a spirit in heaven even though that spirit has since returned to earth in a human form.
Those souls who are currently incarnated in one or more bodies at the moment may not be actively engaged with welcoming anybody back...radiate a dim light with low pulsating energy patterns and don't seem to communicate much with anyone.
— Journey of Souls: Case Studies of Life Between Lives, Michael Newton
pg. 85, 1996
...all souls who come to Earth leave a part of their energy behind in the spirit world, even those living parallel lives in more than one body...if someone you loved died thirty years ahead of you and has since reincarnated, you can still see them again upon your own return to the spirit world.
— Destiny of Souls, Michael Newton
pg. 116, 2003
